I’m a bigger believer than ever in the wisdom of many counselors. Getting connected to the experience and outside perspectives of others is just crucial for growth and success.

In this process I’ve noticed a need to strike the right balance in response to input received. It’s a balance between two immature extremes.

The first extreme is the teenage rebellion of stubbornly resisting input. It’s a lack of humility, or a need to be right all the time. This extreme defeats the purpose of having counselors, and will frustrate everyone involved. If you want a cheerleader who never pushes back and never has superior insights, you will miss the stretching and growing that comes from a good coach.

The opposite extreme is the child-like awe of accepting everything your advisor says without questioning. It’s idealizing your mentor or doubting yourself to the point you’re afraid to differ with anything they say. Sometimes this shows up as seeking to imitate the entire style of one individual, without holding on to your own unique strengths and personality.

The balanced response is adulthood, being able to listen openly, willing to yield when appropriate, and able to maintain a separation of thought and style.

I’ve received advice that blew me away with what I’d been missing, and I’m glad I embraced it. I’ve received advice that upon reflection just didn’t fit my style or my goals, and I’m glad I disregarded it.

It’s not only wise to make those yea or nay decisions, it’s your responsibility as an adult.