First you dream about the thing you will build, the impassioned work you will do, the mark you will make. Then comes a moment when you have a choice: launch it, or veer off, loop back, and keep dreaming.

Crossing that line into launch commit is terrifying. Fear amps up as the line approaches, and hits full panic shortly after.

Multiple past successes will not let you skip the fear. Thorough preparation (a good idea) won’t get you a fear pass. Neither will being really smart, likable, financially ready, and otherwise cleared for takeoff by all rational accounts.

I talk to people almost every day who have all those things, and the fear surrounding launch commit is still intensely real. Fear is an integral part of doing things that matter.

I only know two ways to keep the fear at bay. Live a smaller life than you dream of, or stare the fear right in the eye and hit the launch button. Stand in the gale force fear for a while. Succeed, fall flat, or muddle through. And discover that behind all the stomach-churning special effects, fear’s got nothing.

photo credit: pobre.ch

If you connect only with people you see a strategic reason to connect with, you’ll miss out. It’s impossible and unnecessary to know what you might get out of a new connection.

Add all kinds of people to your circle of relationships. Show up and connect with curiosity and generosity. Trust that mutual benefit will emerge in delightful and unpredictable ways. It will, and connecting this way will enrich your life.

Personal growth happens in relationships. Period.

Your relationships are a mirror — the only way to see yourself accurately.

They check and clarify your thinking.

They give you energy and courage to do hard and scary things.

The most growth-promoting relationships are unconditionally pro-you, and openly truthful.

Get connected. Isolation is the greatest enemy of your growth.

Last weekend’s Berkshire-Hathaway events were densely crowded with people eager to catch a glimpse of Warren Buffett. For me, the whole exercise was stimulating, and unsettling at a deep level.

My sense is most of us came there to dream. To dream that we might learn some secret to his success, so we’ll be really successful too. To dream about what it’s like to be that good, to have that much attention, and to be that admired.

18,000 people gathering to hear Warren Buffet.

I come away from the weekend reflecting quite uncomfortably on deep questions about myself. What do I want my life focus to be? Do I want what he has? I don’t think that’s it, so what is *it* for me? When I wake up tomorrow what will I lean my effort into?

Most people seem to me to feel they have to do more or less the same things they did yesterday, put one foot in front of the other, and hope it leads somewhere ok. People, we have way more choice than that. We have the precious gift of wide-open choice about what we do with our lives.

I wonder how many of us dreamer groupies will come home, ponder uncomfortable questions, make courageous choices, and act with consistent intentionality toward the specific future we want. After all, that’s how Warren Buffett did it.

I spent Saturday at Berkshire-Hathaway’s annual shareholder meeting, listening to Q&A with Charlie Munger and Warren Buffett. Here are a few concepts that stood out to me.

Cooperation and Choosing Battles

Warren was asked why he didn’t vote against the Coca-Cola compensation plan he believes is excessive. He said that they did not want to go to war with Coca-Cola. Going to war is almost never a good idea. Charlie agreed and said voicing your disapproval of everything you disapprove of is not an effective way to operate. “If we all did that nobody would be able to hear each other talk. … You have to pick your spots.”

Interesting coming from some very principled and independent-thinking people. They are not stubborn idealists who insist on their way, they value cooperation in the context of disagreement.

Lawsuit Risk

Warren and Charlie are aware their company possesses some of the deepest pockets in the world, and that attracts lawsuits. They intentionally stay out of businesses (athletic safety gear, airport security) that have a high propensity for getting sued when something goes wrong. High-liability industries are for people with a lot less to lose. I hadn’t heard them express this before.

Reputation

Trust earned from a long track record of consistent action is a precious, and fragile, asset.

Warren Buffett has a big advantage in business deals because his integrity is highly trusted. He is keenly aware of this and afraid of losing it due to any illegal or unethical behavior by his 300,000 employees.

Every minute, we are building or damaging our reputation by the choices we make and the way we treat people.

Patience

When asked about why others are not more successful doing what they do (growing a big investment and business portfolio) they said because it’s slow, and people don’t have the patience. It’s not that it’s rocket science, it’s just slow. Charlie joked that “The downside of it being slow is you’re dead before it’s done.”

Simple Truthfulness

They answered questions with simple truthfulness whether controversial or not. Charlie with fewer words and less tact. Both with simplicity. My sense is their great clarity of thought is a side effect of this practice of simple truthfulness.