A concept I heard Dr. Henry Cloud speak about:

When you confront someone with negative feedback, they will respond in one of three ways. A wise person will say, “Thank you, I want to understand more about your feedback.” They will change when appropriate. The best way to deal with them is simply to talk honestly.

A foolish person will say, “It’s not my fault. I didn’t do anything wrong.” They won’t change. Deal with them by creating real-world consequences. Foolish people don’t listen to words. If you treat them like wise people, you will talk yourself hoarse and they will never change.

An evil person will try to intentionally harm you in retaliation. The best way to deal with them is to protect yourself and, to quote Dr. Cloud, use “lawyers, guns (police), and money”.

If you treat evil people as anything buy, you will be vulnerable to their attacks.

In this world there are some wise people, lots of foolish people, and a few evil people. If you can’t accept that there are some evil people in your world, you’re gonna get hurt.

If foolish people need consequences, what do evil people need? If I remember right Dr. Cloud said it often takes severe life circumstances for them to change. He half-joked that wise people change through self-correction, foolish people change through other-correction, and evil people change through the department of corrections.

The key is to know what kind of person you’re dealing with, and respond accordingly.