This is the easiest for me to explain, and the hardest for me to do.

Habit #5: Seek first to understand, then to be understood.

This is about listening to people and truly understanding their perspective before asking them to hear yours. It’s hard because it’s an act of giving. It requires setting aside our own needs and impulses for a while. It’s effective because everyone is better ready to listen when they feel they’ve been heard and understood. It’s wise because by listening we learn things we didn’t know before.

The second half of this is equally important. Win/win requires mutual understanding, so take your turn to speak up. But avoid the tug-of-war of two sides talking over each other by graciously accepting the role of first listener. I think this habit has huge power to turn resistance into cooperative forward motion.