There are some things money can’t buy, but there are lots of people willing to offer you those things for a price.

I’m talking about things like… Respect. Sex appeal. Peace of mind. Belonging. Identity. Camaraderie. Youthfulness.

I’m not saying the MasterCard commercials are wrong when they imply that a series of purchases (gas money, baseball tickets, hot dogs, and popcorn) can contribute to something deeper (a father/son bonding road trip to a big game). I think they’re right. Such an experience does involve spending money, and it can contribute to something deeper. But it also requires a relationship foundation and a certain quality of interpersonal interaction to make it work. The trip requires money, the relationship requires an investment of work and time over thousands of experiences and conversations.

Don’t get me wrong. I gladly spend money, sometimes lots of money, on things like books, teaching, or experiences that I believe will contribute to my relationships, deeper needs, and higher goals. I’m not telling you to be frugal. I am suggesting though, that a fast red car may not actually resolve the deeper issues behind a mid-life crisis.

These things that money can’t buy are found through a longer, more internal process, involving relationship building, personal growth, and perseverance. Don’t be drawn into trying to buy those things outright. That is very expensive and ultimately counter-productive. Accept that there are no shortcuts and engage in the longer process.

…is not a persuasive advertising message.

I think some marketers sit down and think, “what outcome do we want from this ad campaign?” and then with zero creativity, they just write an ad to say what they want.

They want people to click on their ad. Advertising message: “Click Here Now”.

They don’t want people to drink and drive. Advertising message: “Don’t Drink and Drive”.

This one is on bright yellow signs all over Illinois right now. They want people to be more aware of motorcycles on the road. Advertising message: “Start SEEING Motorcycles”. Just like that, in caps, YELLING at us about what they want.

Don’t be like these marketers. Don’t tell your customers what you want. They don’t care. Tell your customers about something they want.

“Getting Things Done” by David Allen is a classic book on how to organize your tasks and projects most effectively. It’s not about time management, it’s about managing actions so when you have time to get things done, you will know quickly and completely what actions you have to choose from. I read it for the first time a couple of weeks ago. It’s good.

Key points from the book:

• Every pending item needs to be listed in your organizational system. Don’t try to remember anything in your head. A 100% complete system takes that load off your brain. I can say from recent experience, this really does enhance focus and reduce stress.
• Keep separate lists for items that are:
  1. “Ready” to work on
  2. “Waiting” for someone else
  3. “Scheduled” for a certain time in the future
  4. Things you’ll do “Someday/Maybe”
• Review your Ready list every time you have time available to work on stuff
• Use your calendar to keep track of Scheduled items
• Review your Waiting and Someday/Maybe lists once a week

I learned a lot from this book. I recommend it. Here it is on Amazon.

Last week I went to see marketing and change expert Seth Godin speak and take questions live in Chicago for a day. It was a great day with lots of great ideas.

Of everything he said, the most thought-provoking for me was one sentence about viewing each time we interact with another person as an opportunity. Can we approach each interaction, each “touch”, with a customer (or co-worker or family member or anyone) differently than we have in the past, to create a different kind of interpersonal result?

I experienced this in my brief interaction with Seth in the book-signing line. I stood in line just to thank him for how much I’ve benefited from his books, not to ask him to sign one. Everyone else was having a book signed, and I had an awkward moment of uncertainty when I got to the front of the line and didn’t ask him to sign my book. He seemed to sense my hesitation and spoke and listened quite kindly to me. That awkward attempt to express my genuine gratitude was important to me, and he made it a positive interaction that influenced me and my view of him. He practiced what he preached on this.

My point is not that Seth is special, it’s that every human interaction is a valuable opportunity.

This summer I joined Vistage, a CEO coaching and peer mentoring organization. When I joined I learned the group was going golfing together in about two months. I had never swung a golf club before in my life. So I decided to take some golf lessons and see how I liked it. I took the lessons and hit the driving range a couple of times a week during that two months, all the while driven forward by my desire to not look foolish in front of my Vistage peers.

The morning of the golf event I arrived early and hit the driving range one last time. It was my best (actually my only decent) hour of practice ever and I went into the day with some optimism. I certainly did everything I reasonably could to prepare (more like cram) for the event. So there we are at the first tee. I set up and, feeling pretty good, took the first swing of the “real thing” I had prepared for. My club broke. In half. I stood there holding an empty shaft and watching the head come to a landing 30 yards away. I just shook my head and laughed.

In spite of all the worrying I did about that moment and all the times I played it out in my head, what actually happened was completely outside of anything I imagined or planned for.

I borrowed a driver from the pro shop, and played the round (not well, by any stretch, but my peers were very supportive).

I think this unexpected club breaking event illustrates a common property of life. I estimate that at least half the time, when we try to make contingency plans, the thing that actually goes wrong (or right) is something we didn’t even consider during our planning.

This is kind of a tough reality to do anything about. But perhaps the worst mistake is to think we know for sure how things will go because we have a plan. When making decisions about the future, knowing things probably won’t go according to plan is a good starting point.