Delay of gratification has got to be one of the most valuable abilities in life. It’s all about making difficult choices now with the best long-term outcome in mind. (See my earlier post, Make Room for the Long Term.)

In the 1960’s a group of researches at Stanford conducted a now famous experiment that captures this struggle. Kids were given a marshmallow and told that if they waited 20 minutes to eat it, they would get two marshmallows instead. Someone did a re-creation of the experiment and put it on YouTube.

The Stanford researchers tested 4 year olds, then tracked their success for 18 years. Kids that waited longer to eat the marshmallow did better in school and in relationships. This one character ability was a significant predictor of success.

I’m pretty sure I would have eaten the marshmallow.

We are born with brains that aren’t very good at grasping time. The here and now looms large. The ability to delay gratification is learned by growing up in a world where actions lead to consequences in a consistent, predictable pattern.

I want to be more aware of the countless times per day I am faced with marshmallow-like choices in life and in business. Whether or not to refund an unhappy customer. What and how much to eat for lunch. Whether or not to confront unacceptable behavior. When to buy and sell investments. How much time to spend with my kids. How to use credit cards and savings accounts. All of these have a delay-of-gratification element. Sometimes I feel just like one of those kids in the video.

I watched Evan Lysacek win men’s figure skating gold last night. His coach said he trained harder than any figure skater he’s ever known. I saw him stand on the podium holding that gold medal and smiling like the happiest person on earth. It was on TV, I didn’t have to envision it. But he had to envision it a long time ago, when it was a distant and uncertain possibility. He made a million choices to do difficult things every day to move a little closer to making that vision real. He gets this.

The long-term is real. It’s coming, and you are shaping it every day. Zoom out as much as you can and look at the big, long-term picture when you make choices. Look beyond what you see now and envision the end of the story.

People! Step away from the marshmallow.