Upon becoming aware of an extreme tendency on any personal attribute, some of us may feel compelled to change, to moderate ourselves to a more average position.

If you discover you are quite sensitive, you may desire to become tougher. If you discover you are insensitive, you may desire to become less tough.

If you discover you are a little ADD, you may desire to become more structured. If you discover you are a little OCD, you may desire to loosen up. The same can apply to drivenness vs relaxation, caution vs boldness, spontaneity vs stability, you name it.

Don’t beat yourself up about leaning one way or the other. Don’t strive to eliminate your extremes. Growth is not moving toward medium, normal, or average. It’s flexibility.

A football team with a tilt toward a strong running game doesn’t need to feel bad about running or start running less enthusiastically. They need to add the flexibility to pass well, then choose the play that fits the situation. They are best served when everything from the one-yard run to the hail mary pass is an available choice.

By comparison, having the flexibility to respond in an extremely sensitive way at some times, and an extremely tough way at other times makes a better leader than someone who can only do one or the other. The flexible leader beats both extremes and the middle.

You don’t need to abandon your extremes. You may want to expand your flexibility.

How? It’s a process of knowing and facing the fears you experience when you venture out of the part of the range that is most comfortable for you.