I just read “See me as a person…”, a book about the importance of authentic human connection in effective medical care. I’m convinced human connection is of great value in all areas of life and business, not just caregiving professions.

Connection comes from being present and intentionally attentive to another person — wondering, listening, valuing. I know a few people who are exceptional at this. It makes them remarkable, memorable and in-demand. Their rare level of connection forms the core of their success and influence. People are drawn to them. People are changed by those moments of connection.

I think most of us know how to tune in to another person and connect well. Sometimes we do connect well with the people around us, often we don’t. Why?

Filtering: We are interested in connecting with certain types of people more than others, and miss the opportunities for meaningful connection with many who don’t fit our favorite, most appealing, categories.

Hurry: We focus on the next task and don’t pause to make eye contact and ask a genuine question.

Fear: If we stop to connect we might be rejected, criticized, or ignored. This is the big one.

A leader who embraces opportunities for meaningful connection gains information, influence, and fulfillment of his/her own human needs. This shouldn’t be a rare thing. I want a lot more of it.